~ breaking boundaries ~

Kim’s ”New World” from the outside – Part 5

Category:
by:
Lovely, Kaylin

This is the final chapter of Kim’s New World for our blog, but her life story still holds many more chapters. 

Kaylin takes us through her concerns for her mother’s future, how their mother-daughter relationship has evolved and advice for others going through a similar experience. 

Do you have any concerns for your mothers’ future? 

Finance will always be a concern, adequate healthcare is always costly no matter which way you look at it. To live off a R1650 government disability grant is extremely tough to say the least, especially when that barely covers the basic items she needs for each month.
My mom’s health is my main concern; people in wheelchairs have problems that fully able people don’t, such as: circulation issues, chronic urinary tract infections, kidney problems and the risk of ‘the dreaded pressure sores.’
Any of these things could put her into hospital for an extended period of time which is never a nice thought.
Has the accident changed your relationship with your mother?
My mother’s accident has definitely changed our relationship for the better. Growing up I didn’t really appreciate my mother and all the things she did for us when we were younger. I know it sounds cliché but her accident made me realise how fragile life it and how much you take people closest to you for granted.
I am a grateful that I get to help my mother after all she has done for me. I would not be where I am today and with my medical degree if not for my mother’s support, so for this nothing I do could come close to the thanks I have towards her.
She is by far the most amazing woman I know – her strength, love and hope makes her who she is.
As a daughter of a wheelchair user, what advice would you give to other people in the same situation?
Having a loved one in a wheelchair is extremely challenging at times, for both parties.
It’s very difficult for children, partners, spouse and family to see their loved ones in a position such as my mother’s but don’t ever unload negative feelings such as anger or sadness towards the affected person.
Unfortunately this has been challenging for my 3 younger siblings, I think they are all still young and look at it from a different point of view. This doesn’t make things any easier.
Kims’ 4 kids. 
Be considerate – put yourself in the affected persons’ position always.
Take each day as it comes and try not think too far ahead, it will only add unnecessary stress to your life.
You need to be more accommodating, there are always ways of doing things and it may not be conventional but so what? There is a solution to every problem.
I remember one day my mother wanted her hair dyed but alas her wheelchair would not fit through the bathroom door, instead we sat her on the bed in front of a massive bucket, lots and lots of black bags and towels (covering my white carpets!). Looking like a scene out of CSI we got things done. Yes it may have taken 2 hours instead of 30 minutes but we managed.
Kaylin’s 21st with Kim. 
Always encourage the wheelchair user to what is easier for them not what is labelled as ‘the norm.’ We ended up putting a spare bed in our lounge so when the family spends time together my mom can lie down and relax. It looked very strange to visitors but now it’s normal to us.
It’s very scary but you aren’t the only one feeling that way, you learn together and its team work.We came out being the toughest mother and daughter team around!

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